Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Taking the Shot 
Our players are Control, wearing a headset and seated behind computer screens somewhere in Northeastern Virginia, and Shooter One, somewhere in the Saudi Arabian desert.

Control: “Control to Shooter One.”

Shooter One: “One.”

Control: “Are you in position?”

Shooter One: “Affirmative.”

Control: “Atmospherics?”

Shooter One: “ West wind crossing target area at ten miles per hour, left to right. Minimal dust, heat distortion also nominal. Shot probability, ninety percent.”

Control: “All shooters, target will be in the second limo, drivers side rear. Confirm.”

Shooter One: “Target …second limo, drivers side rear.”

Control: “Target convoy has left the palace. They have taken a right on El-Ajib highway. Shooters two and three stand down. This is going to be shooter ones show… Shooter One, target E.T.A. your location is one minute, confirm.”

Shooter One: “Control, confirm it’s my show. E.T.A. one minute… Control, I have a dust cloud in the highway target area. Request satellite I.D. and confirmation of possible civilian traffic.”

Control: “Confirming now, Shooter One… Shooter One, affirmative. Civilian traffic. Looks like a heard of goats and a single Sheppard. You are still GO for the shot. Civilian traffic is expected to slow the convoy down considerably, putting your shot probability in the ninety-eight percentile. Repeat you are still GO for the shot.”

Shooter One: Control. Target is in sight. … Convoy slowing down.  …The goats are generating a good deal of dust… Convoy has now come to a complete stop. Goats are still making an awful lot of dust… Shot probability is now down to about sixty percent.

Control: Wait for it Shooter One. Be patient, it will come. You’re the best in the business.

Shooter One: Control, sheep have now stopped next to second limo… Dust clearing… Control, this is our lucky day. Target is standing up in the back seat to take pictures of the goats.

Control: “SHOOT!”

Shooter One: “Multiple shots taken. Transmitting now.”

Control: “All bidders, this is Johnson Photography. We have multiple pictures of Brittany Spears leaving Prince Adel’s Palace. The bidding will start at fifteen thousand.”

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